I'm worn out, and stressed out. I don't like not having all my uncertainties, well, as NOT uncertainties and I seem to have filled my life up with them.
Car insurance
Car financing
Car itself
New job?
New insurance?
NEW EVERYTHING?
Oh, and the ONLY utility that has my name on it (needed for financing purposes) has my maiden name on it, and we can't figure out how to change. We keep getting the runaround. *sigh*
I'm also falling back into bad food habits. Had to put my "fat" pants back on today. :( I'm back on track, but it's so easy for me to fall off when my emotional state is in flux. And it's definitely in flux.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
I just got a job offer? - short
It's not firm, but I am tempted and I'm conflicted and I just..... I don't know.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Housekeeping
I have to "journal" today for the Spring Challenge. I don't want to. I want to write about cross stitching or something, but have nothing really *new* to say.
I had a really bad day yesterday. I don't want to talk about it.
I am, however, buying a new car. It should be a good experience. I can stop juggling 2 different car dealers, and like 20 insurance places in my inbox. That is REALLY hard for someone with anxiety. (btw, never ask for a quote online from insurance comparison.org. I just wanted to ball park what I could expect, and ended up with multiple insurance places trying to call and email me. progressive is MUCH nicer and only one place.)
Anyways, I love the new car. it's a 2011 Honda Fit Sport with Navigation. It's orange. The Honda Fit is actually a subcompact with as much room for cargo (due to some cleverly designed seating) as the much larger Honda CR-V which is a crossover or small SUV. The back seats fold down completely flat, so the dogs can ride in the back and we can store crates/luggage/anything back there with them. It's not as roomy for people as the CR-V or something like a Nissan Murano or Ford Escape, those can easily fit 3 adults in the backseat. But because they are bigger and heavier they get worse gas mileage. The Fit has all the same features (except not quite as comfortable, especially for multiple people in the backseat, but no worse than a car) but comes with great gas mileage and a tiny parking area. I drive a Ford Taurus sedan, it's so long! And while the trunk IS huge (I can fit a 500 dog crate in there folded up, which not a lot of car trunks can do) I can't extend it for the dogs, and their paws will eventually ruin the cloth seats even though I have a waterproof lining for it. (one of my dogs actually panics and tries to burrow when in the car, so I have to stop him from digging it out of the way. every. single. time.) I'll still try to keep the back of the seats nice, but I really won't worry about it as much as I have to with the Taurus.
I had a really bad day yesterday. I don't want to talk about it.
I am, however, buying a new car. It should be a good experience. I can stop juggling 2 different car dealers, and like 20 insurance places in my inbox. That is REALLY hard for someone with anxiety. (btw, never ask for a quote online from insurance comparison.org. I just wanted to ball park what I could expect, and ended up with multiple insurance places trying to call and email me. progressive is MUCH nicer and only one place.)
Anyways, I love the new car. it's a 2011 Honda Fit Sport with Navigation. It's orange. The Honda Fit is actually a subcompact with as much room for cargo (due to some cleverly designed seating) as the much larger Honda CR-V which is a crossover or small SUV. The back seats fold down completely flat, so the dogs can ride in the back and we can store crates/luggage/anything back there with them. It's not as roomy for people as the CR-V or something like a Nissan Murano or Ford Escape, those can easily fit 3 adults in the backseat. But because they are bigger and heavier they get worse gas mileage. The Fit has all the same features (except not quite as comfortable, especially for multiple people in the backseat, but no worse than a car) but comes with great gas mileage and a tiny parking area. I drive a Ford Taurus sedan, it's so long! And while the trunk IS huge (I can fit a 500 dog crate in there folded up, which not a lot of car trunks can do) I can't extend it for the dogs, and their paws will eventually ruin the cloth seats even though I have a waterproof lining for it. (one of my dogs actually panics and tries to burrow when in the car, so I have to stop him from digging it out of the way. every. single. time.) I'll still try to keep the back of the seats nice, but I really won't worry about it as much as I have to with the Taurus.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Panic Attack
Today I had a panic attack so bad I was honestly in danger of passing out in my husband's car from lack of oxygen. I just couldn't breath and cry and breath at the same time. I've freaked out before, but never like this. Not even when things were really bad. Things are happening and I don't like it.
the end
the end
Locked in
So, I have this thing I do where I lock in on something and I obsess about it until I'm miserable.
Right now, it's a car. Basically I want a very specific car, but the new one is coming out, and they don't have it in stock except for one but they're giving me a GREAT price because they're trying to move inventory, but I need to sell my car and my mom has the title, and I'm on it but it may say AND 'me' not OR 'me' which would me she has to be PRESENT for me to sell the thing, but I don't even know if I can get a good price for the thing, and I feel stuck and................................................. I can't stop trying to figure out ways around it.
I know the fair value for this car, I know the depreciation, I know that my loan will never be under water if I get X amount of trade-in (or down payment). I KNOW EVERYTHING.
And I'm still trying to get more info. I need it all done instantly, not 3 days from now.
Right now, it's a car. Basically I want a very specific car, but the new one is coming out, and they don't have it in stock except for one but they're giving me a GREAT price because they're trying to move inventory, but I need to sell my car and my mom has the title, and I'm on it but it may say AND 'me' not OR 'me' which would me she has to be PRESENT for me to sell the thing, but I don't even know if I can get a good price for the thing, and I feel stuck and................................................. I can't stop trying to figure out ways around it.
I know the fair value for this car, I know the depreciation, I know that my loan will never be under water if I get X amount of trade-in (or down payment). I KNOW EVERYTHING.
And I'm still trying to get more info. I need it all done instantly, not 3 days from now.
Monday, May 5, 2014
More Money into my POS Car
This weekend I spent $80 more on my POS car. A cylinder coil went out, so I was running on 5 cylinders instead of 6 and it was obvious. It has been going out, but probably only noticable to someone who drives the car every single day. Then, while T was driving it it jerked and revved and didn't really shift right then the check engine light came on.
Two different Firestones wouldn't check the code. I've played the game with my car before where I turn it off and the light isn't on when I turn it back on, but there is still something wrong with the damn thing but they can't help me if there are no codes. So, I wanted them to check the codes before turning it off. They didn't have time. -.- yeah right. So I took it to O'Reilly and they said the third engine coil was going out, or had gone out. They priced the part at $68 and we left. T decided he could replace it and went back and bought it (with a lifetime warranty) for $80. (btw, I'm selling this car in just a few months. His reply was that someone would get to enjoy the warranty, and I asked him how he planned on giving them the receipt. boys). Then he basically unscrewed the old and screwed on the new. Fixed.
I'm going to call Firestone and see how much that would cost if they did it. I'm betting on twice the price. At least $120. I'm not knocking them, but it really made me mad that they wouldn't just pull codes on my car. It takes 5 minutes. They tried to tell me they have to run a full diagnostic blah blah it could take 30 minutes or it could take 3 hours, but O'Reilly did it in 2 minutes. I know they just don't want to pull codes for free for everyone that walks through the door that will then go buy parts at O'Reilly, but if they would have just pulled the damn codes I would have told them to fix it and left my car there! I have spent thousands of dollars at Firestone (JUST IN THE LAST 2 YEARS) but, it doesn't matter because I'm just a number in a computer. *sigh* Now I'm just getting dramatic. Can you tell it really upset me?
Anyways, it was *only* $80 more into my car. Can't wait to get rid of this thing.
Two different Firestones wouldn't check the code. I've played the game with my car before where I turn it off and the light isn't on when I turn it back on, but there is still something wrong with the damn thing but they can't help me if there are no codes. So, I wanted them to check the codes before turning it off. They didn't have time. -.- yeah right. So I took it to O'Reilly and they said the third engine coil was going out, or had gone out. They priced the part at $68 and we left. T decided he could replace it and went back and bought it (with a lifetime warranty) for $80. (btw, I'm selling this car in just a few months. His reply was that someone would get to enjoy the warranty, and I asked him how he planned on giving them the receipt. boys). Then he basically unscrewed the old and screwed on the new. Fixed.
I'm going to call Firestone and see how much that would cost if they did it. I'm betting on twice the price. At least $120. I'm not knocking them, but it really made me mad that they wouldn't just pull codes on my car. It takes 5 minutes. They tried to tell me they have to run a full diagnostic blah blah it could take 30 minutes or it could take 3 hours, but O'Reilly did it in 2 minutes. I know they just don't want to pull codes for free for everyone that walks through the door that will then go buy parts at O'Reilly, but if they would have just pulled the damn codes I would have told them to fix it and left my car there! I have spent thousands of dollars at Firestone (JUST IN THE LAST 2 YEARS) but, it doesn't matter because I'm just a number in a computer. *sigh* Now I'm just getting dramatic. Can you tell it really upset me?
Anyways, it was *only* $80 more into my car. Can't wait to get rid of this thing.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Only if I Track it First
Something that helped me today was saying "only if I track it first" in regards to food. I'd planned out my entire day (Thursday is lunch day with the hubby) but someone brought Krispy Kreme donut holes. I wanted some real real bad. Before I let myself go in there, I told myself I could only have them if I counted them. So, instead of feeling immensely guilty I looked it up and found out that 4 donut holes are 6 points. I took 3 for 4 points. I had to dip into my weekly allowance, which I'm trying not to do as much, but it was worth it. Now I'm not sitting in my office obsessing about the donut holes I wanted. I find that if I do that to myself, I end up doing something worse later because I'm mad. (and possibly hangry!)
"I didn't get a donut this morning. I'm getting dessert now" *angry face*
So, next time you're really wanting some food, tell yourself you HAVE to track it first. Then, it may be worth it and it may not be. And track those negative points! I tracked everything I ate for a week even though I wasn't really watching what I ate and was in the negative. Seeing that gave me the bump I needed the next week.
"I didn't get a donut this morning. I'm getting dessert now" *angry face*
So, next time you're really wanting some food, tell yourself you HAVE to track it first. Then, it may be worth it and it may not be. And track those negative points! I tracked everything I ate for a week even though I wasn't really watching what I ate and was in the negative. Seeing that gave me the bump I needed the next week.
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